Troubling teenage times

How can you pray during troubling times with your teens? Olly Goldenberg explains

Philippians 4:6 tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

This is so important when you’re a parent of teenagers.

We tend to pray out of fear and worry rather than faith and expectation. An example is when our kids start new schools: “Please God, help them not to get mixed up with the wrong crowd.”

But imagine praying the same prayer out of faith instead: “I pray you will connect them with the people they need to meet to have the greatest impact and to grow stronger in you.”

What about when teens are pushing boundaries – something that causes worry and anxiety for us as parents and creates friction and barriers with our teens. Again, the solution is presenting our worries as prayers and petitions with thanksgiving.

Here, we can pray, “Lord, I’m bringing my child to you. I pray you will change and soften their heart, that you will remove them from the bad influences in their life and that you will give me wisdom to know how to deal with this situation. Thank you for them.”

What you’re doing is actively trusting God to step in. As the next verse in the Philippians passage says, the result is his peace in your heart and mind.

From this, you begin to treat them differently, coming from a place of faith instead of worry. Instead of nagging – “why are you always hanging out with them?” – you show them you are on their side. This opens the door for them to share their worries. In my experience, this usually happens at midnight just after I’ve gone to bed!

You are free to respond better. Inside, you might be praying “Lord, I’m asking you to break that relationship – please get them away from that person,” but on the outside you’re a calm listening ear who is ready to guide them.

There’s one last thing that’s important to note. If your teenagers are rebelling or walking away from God this is not a life sentence for them or for you, this is just a season they are passing through. A season is not a life sentence. The real life sentence is God’s call on their lives. As parents, it’s our role to pray them into that destiny.

This article was first published in Elim's Direction magazine October 2025.

Olly Goldenberg is founder of Children Can and director of the Hand in Hand children and family ministry conference.